i'm loaded up with coffee & i'm ready to go
it's an 8 hour drive to cabazon viejo
i'm blasting tunes in my Honda Accord
i'm rolling down the highway doing 24
now, everybody's honking but that's OK
i've got my short shorts on and it's a beautiful day
i see a sign up ahead, i'm almost there
maybe this time i'll get to kill a bear
turn down the dirt road, look at all the cactus
luckily for me, i know what all the facts is
i know that it never snows here in cabazon viejo
i've got a hatchet + stove + bottle of water
i've got a cellular phone + i do not have a daughter
i've got a slingshot + hammer + wooden canoe
i'm the best dag camper that you ever knew
there goes a pigeon and a cockatoo
the other camper's over there sniffing glue
i am shirtless and he is too
baby, can't you see there's money On me?
you become a camping pro here at cabazon viejo
now i hear a noise and i get up scared
i see digging in the trash a big ole bear
i know exactly what to do, i hit the deck
imma grab that bear by her fuzzy neck
well, the next thing i know she's got me in her jaws
if i had a life remote i woulda hit pause
the shirtless man came out of his tent
hit the bear with a pan, which all his money was spent (on)
well now, i've got my battle wounds
i'm recuperating and i'm eating prunes
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