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Youth

by Julian Cubillos

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1.
2.
i'm loaded up with coffee & i'm ready to go it's an 8 hour drive to cabazon viejo i'm blasting tunes in my Honda Accord i'm rolling down the highway doing 24 now, everybody's honking but that's OK i've got my short shorts on and it's a beautiful day i see a sign up ahead, i'm almost there maybe this time i'll get to kill a bear turn down the dirt road, look at all the cactus luckily for me, i know what all the facts is i know that it never snows here in cabazon viejo i've got a hatchet + stove + bottle of water i've got a cellular phone + i do not have a daughter i've got a slingshot + hammer + wooden canoe i'm the best dag camper that you ever knew there goes a pigeon and a cockatoo the other camper's over there sniffing glue i am shirtless and he is too baby, can't you see there's money On me? you become a camping pro here at cabazon viejo now i hear a noise and i get up scared i see digging in the trash a big ole bear i know exactly what to do, i hit the deck imma grab that bear by her fuzzy neck well, the next thing i know she's got me in her jaws if i had a life remote i woulda hit pause the shirtless man came out of his tent hit the bear with a pan, which all his money was spent (on) well now, i've got my battle wounds i'm recuperating and i'm eating prunes i'll probably never go back to cabazon viejo
3.
Saginaw (free) 02:32
i can't sleep i can't eat & the faces that you're making in my window are unsettling i'm a mess i can't think this emotion that i'm feeling can't be spoken in the language that i speak saginaw, in your broken arms i wait for the phone to ring i am dead disappearing run your hand right through my forehead baby, you can't see what i can't even think it's okay life is gray in my city, i am speaking but i only hear what someone else would say saginaw, in your broken arms i wait for the phone to ring
4.
put her there, put her anywhere... i don't really care i wanna pick her up but gravity will keep her there the longer that the night is i am moved in directions toward malice i've got a lot of friends that don't know how to play i've got a lot of friends that do it anyway i've got a lot of time to think of them all my dearest friend will catch me if i fall i've got to say, it really bites when the leaves fall quicker well, i'll only go to the doctor if i get a sticker it's such a shame that looks can overshadow competence & brains
5.
my mouth is so completely numb i have no equilibrium pucker up & smile sucker, stay a while my head is somewhere in the sky i'm making history by and by it's so completely grand honey hold my hand i know i'm pretty late but understand, it's only fate my body clock reads half past 5 & it's a wonder i'm still alive i've lost the feeling in my face i'm curled up in a little space when everything sounds greek why even try to speak? existence is hilarious & everything is scaring us i just have no words... i'm speaking the unheard i know i'm pretty late but understand, it's only fate my head is full of something wise i'm a mormon in disguise hey, i have a feeling it'll be okay hey, i wouldn't care if i died today this really is the place to be i'm shaking uncontrollably & i don't know what to do & then there's alex too warmth of heart is warmth of soul & peace of mind is out of control i've got 2 seconds to admit that i've lost it i've lost it i know i'm pretty late but understand, it's only fate this feeling of emergency is good enough for me hey, i have a feeling it'll be okay hey, i wouldn't care if i died today hey, i hope this feeling never goes away hey, i wouldn't care if i died today i'll die today
6.
Birry 06:38
i've never been so lonely i've never been so angry & all over a spawn! i suppose it was my handling i've never been so tired i didn't have it in me i thought i was just like you i didn't think you'd misunderstand me hey hey hey bet you didn't know i loved you bet you didn't know i used you bet you didn't know nothin' bet you didn't know i want to d (but i'm alive; i'm alive!) hey hey hey
7.
i've got a neck cramp, & it's not going away i met a supertramp, she lived in bob-omb bay it didn't feel right, so we called it a day & we finished in light oh yeah we finished in light we took the metro to see the tour de france it was an artform; we did a little dance beneath verandas in our low-rise pants & we recited lots of poetry, when we got the chance it was a riot why don't you listen to me? went to pomona to see the pokemon fair i brought a matchbox and a bottle of nair stopped at the funnel cakes to scope out all the babes but someone spilled their cake all on me (yeah their cake was all up on me) i got cranky, & i went up to a booth & bought a mankey and a baby ruth found a gazebo where i could be alone but then my homies picked me up and went to autozone it was a riot why don't you listen to me? bananas
8.
Amamamzing 04:23
i had the most beautiful dream crow black & it was raining beyond the road, there was lightning & you were there, running next to me i had the most beautiful dream i was the empire's deity & i lived above everything except for money & astrology -- one day, i fell -- -- & they split me up --
9.
today is the day that's been chosen by God as the end of the world so today is the day that's been chosen by the world as the end of God & although i'd like to run, i've got a family the side that i'm on is the side... it's the side of the shaky ones but, it too is the side of the chosen, it's the side of redemption despite my trying, i'm certainly not #1 on my mind, it's all escaping & if the ground opens up underneath my feet we'll all know in an instant... life has changed is there not one person who's not deranged ... ?
10.
Kerosense 03:38
i've got a rope tied around my arm i've got a hankie soaked in chloroform i was alive before you came i'd rather die than ever be the same i've got homeless in my knee if you can take them out, you'll get in free i was alive when you were away i'd rather die than be this way hey ya, sailor moon with your cuban cigars & your libman broom oh, i'm so lame but the ceiling flakes i spent the last of all my change money can't buy a better vocal range i had to sleep to stay awake & now i'm dreaming of a better way she had a hiptop in her hand & the mission never went as planned i was alive when you were away i'd rather die than be this way hey ya, parliament i was chained to the fence, i couldn't pay the rent oh, i'm so lame but the ceiling flakes i know i took more than i gave & i've got one cool minute before i cave i had to sleep to stay awake & now i'm dreaming of a better way i've got a rope tied around my arm i've got a hankie soaked in chloroform i was alive before you came i'd rather die

about

Produced by Julian Cubillos

Julian Cubillos — composer, vocals, guitars, keyboards, drums
Evan Vidar — piano (5)

Recorded at The Rock Farm in Lomita, CA

© 2010 Julian Cubillos [ASCAP]

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released January 13, 2010

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Julian Cubillos New York, New York

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